howimettheslayer

diggly:

iamnofallenstar:

erikfuckinglensherr:

dullaidan:

what im saying is that bisexuals, pansexual, and asexuals should all join together so we can be in the fictitious trifecta. enough people will say we’re not real and we’ll all converge together in a massive, fierce mass only spoken of in myth.  dont come near us or you too will cease to exist

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can we include aromantics?

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triforce of fabulousness

neurotoxinated

detectivelestrvde:

ask-fira:

harrysthefather:

tony-can-pierce-my-veil:

gettin-nakie-outside:

witchyroses:

kickthebuttstickz:

fantasticallyshantastic:

stickyhunter:

fanuary:

stickyhunter:

ollivandur:

adxn:

Calm your tits! D:!

i’M TRYING But IT’s HARDER THAN IT LOOKS

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HOLD UP! I have a solution to this!

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Follow my lead, people!

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Simply pat your boobs and tell say ‘Everything will be fine. It’s okay.’

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Then everything will be fine.

You dumb females. This is obviously fake.

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Huh? What is this?

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YE DID NOT HEAD MY WARNING

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Okay…

THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN

This is the only “hey girls” that I fully support

I wonder what mine do…

MYGOD

IDONT EVEN CARE HOW LONG THIS POST IS THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN YM ENTIRE LIFE

I love this post so much

why is thor wearing a thor shirt

stilliammemyself asked:

I don't mean to be rude but wow I think they diagnosed your mom and not you and she made something up to make you think it was you

The thing with my mother is she takes like hundreds of different pills. And they’re all because she’s had some real bad surgery in the past and apparently she’d die if she didn’t take all of those pills.

But I think she takes so many so often that her mental health has been greatly affected.

If I’m to put it bluntly, she’s insane. Not entirely but I mean she’s pretty mental.

thecaptainjacksparrow

undeaditalianclowns:

royai-sexual:

ursorum:

tylersthings:

Forgive me padre for I have siiiiiiinned

I can’t believe someone made a fucking audio post for that stupid deer picture I made. this is unbelievable. I’ve reached a new level of sentience. I am unstoppable. I am the alpha and the omega.

this is my favourite fucking picture on the internet and the fact that it has an accompanying audio post makes me wanna cry tears of joy.

this is true art at its peak.

europeantechno

doyouthinkaboutme:

starbuxxaddict:

Oh my god where is this from?!

Oh my god😂

My mother lies to me about everything though.

Like the other day I asked if we coukd get granny smith apples because anything else is too sweet for me.

So she hands me this apple that’s sort of yellowish with patches of red. And she tells me it tastes exactly like a granny smith.

Now, I’m not unreasonable. I could have tried and denied the apple. But she’s done this loads of times before. So I know that I’m not going to like that apple. I say no.

I get chastised for being rude because I refused to eat something I wouldn’t even have enjoyed and would have ended up throwing out.

Earlier today, she told me to try this mango sorbet. I say no as I don’t like mangos and she knows this. She claims the mango sorbet tastes nothing like mangos. I know she’s lying and I refuse.

She corners me and jams a spoonful of sorbet into the side of my face in an attempt to get it in my mouth. Then storms off saying how mean and stubborn I am.

And of course as I’m wiping the sticky mess off my face I taste mango. And realize that she had lied to me yet again.

So yeah, that’s my mother.

Anonymous asked:

Hahaha I am sorry but when you said "he's built himself a nice big test chamber" all I can imagine is a situation where instead, he just has a nice big dick. And leads you into sex for real. Rambling like that as he lines you up. What a moron~ now what about the intense staring and the reaction upon finally pushing his button for him?

What is a test chamber to Wheatley, though, if nothing more than a device to receive pleasure with?

So like a giant sex toy or something basically.

I’ve said it before, but I really can’t ever seem to explain things exactly how I feel or see fit. But I’ll try anyway.

I love the way he stares you down in anticipation. He almost gives the illusion of patiently waiting for you to do him the service but you can also tell he seems about ready to burst because the fact of the matter is that he has very little patience at all. You can see the hunger in his eye how he’s silently willing you to hurry and give him what he likes.

His reaction to the button pressing is also magnificent. This is what he’s been waiting for. Here it comes, the grand finale! Ohhhh yes, that’s it! That’s what he’s been waiting for! He doesn’t hold back how he feels. He displays right then and there the white hot pleasure coursing through his circuits. His entire system is flooded with pleasure. But only briefly as it wears off and he suddenly finds hinsekf hungry for more. And quicker than he woukd have liked, it’s cut short and suddenly the tests aren’t enough for him and he gets desperate. And I LOVE it.

I, uh, don’t know if I explained that all well if I thoroughly covered it all. But I tried to express it to you to the best of my ability.